I have the gay

and a foam man head with a little pink umbrella poking out of its head called Headwig who is my bodyless bodyguard. i'm being for real

<hell yeah)

top things that do, in fact, exist

• J. Bonhomme
• The skull in which I will forever remain
• very confused-looking ronald reagan cardboard cutout wearing my most flamboyant jacket and scarf pair
• the sauce everyone talks about (warning: sexy and s u p a h a w t)